so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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