Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
