Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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