It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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