I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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