they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize