My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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