Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
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He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
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i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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