What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
