carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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