People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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