fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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