why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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