I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
