I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
