Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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