I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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