life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
