why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
