these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize
