this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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