Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Randomize
