people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
