i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
