Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
