We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
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I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
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She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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