it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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