Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
