Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Girls should come with a carfax report
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
