Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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