I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
