there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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