tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Floor bacon is actually really good
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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