I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
