just come out here and I will go home with you...
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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