dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
