BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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