Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize