i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
