you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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