I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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