Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
