Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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