...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
