yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Enjoy the penises
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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