Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize