Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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