i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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