I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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