u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
