Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
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At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
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I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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