I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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