Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
