yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
