Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize