I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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